Monday, October 27, 2008

BBBS Interview

I did a Big Brother Big Sister interview yesturday. Wondering how it's going to work out, thought I'd share the experience.

Most people don't know this, but this has long been one of my dreams. Seriously, don't laugh! The reasons why are kinda odd really, but honestly I remember being a kid and hearing the ads. I would think to myself I really wish I had a big brother. This would always make me wonder what my real big brother was doing (Jason, we lived apart growing up) - when I was a kid I looked up to him as if he was infallible. As a kid I'd always make up big long stories of how I'd be a good brother, or how I'd have spent my day with my big brother. I remember telling my dad that I wanted a big brother, and he just disregarded my statement wholeheartedly, in fact I think he made fun of me. Called me retarded for wanting one. If only he realized the need for one was actually to place a male role model in my life - and he obviously didn't fit the bill.

The interview was quite easy, although they ask a lot of personal questions. The interviewer was amazingly cute, should I mention that? She seemed like such a sweet heart - they should look into higher uglier interviewers I think she made me more nervous than the questions ;) (The receptionist was also exceptionally perky, almost unrealistically nice. I love those kinds of people the ones that almost gush kindness - their soul just oozes unto the floor and wraps you in good feelings all day long)

The questions were plain, and obvious nothing really absurd or unexpected. To be honest I never really thought much into what I would do, with my little brother, or what might be a problem, or activities, etc. And then she started asking questions about my life, my parentage and my family. I didn't really think much about my life and what would make me a good/bad big brother (Is wondering about the interviewer's BF status a good or bad quality? - I mean she wasn't wearing a ring :P )

A few questions like do you drink, of course.. 2 White Russians daily - actually I haven't had a drink in a while - but the answer is probably like everyone else - socially.) Do you use tobacco products? (a good cigar on a rare occasion) - Use drugs - I always laugh when this is asked, "yes I share needles all the time." - she' posited - "Only a line of coke now and then right?" (damn she's cute, I'm glad she has the same sense of humour as I)

After a few more questions she started asking about my familial relations. To be frank my family and I are just not that well suited for each other. I try to see my sisters more than anything, I love them girls to death. But even that sometimes seems like I have to bang heads. Recently situations have changed with both, which make it easier.

I see my younger brother often enough, and thankfully we managed to stow away any childhood BS we went through (I was often prone to violent outburst, and he was more than willing to push my buttons) - in fact I'd say we get along quite well these days.

I've never had a perfect relationship with any person considered to be my parent. My Mother and I get along fine, my Step-dad is kinda lonely and angry (And I can't get close enough to discover why) we stopped talking - My father is the biggest douche-bag in the universe in fact I could write pages and pages of what makes him the most disgusting creature in the universe. But I edited that stuff out - who wants to read that crap? My Grandparents raised me from about 5 or so on, and I can't say they did a bad job. There were obvious moments of misunderstandings, but I always understood their point of view, and try as I might I was never capable of convincing them of more modern social ideals. They are grandparents after all.

Anyway, after all of that I realize where I am and where I came from, and sometimes I cannot believe that I am who I am. In retrospect the questions made me realize that I've done a lot for just making myself the person I want to be. I know I sometimes fail, there is a lot of stuff that I didn't mention here that definitely affect my personality.

I wonder if all of this stuff I've seen would make me a better or worse big brother - or father. All of this made me think about my own children someday, and then the word someday. I'm 27 someday is one of those 3 years from now kinda of words. I mean it's not like I'm going to find a women, and have kids in the next year, that would be ridiculous and selfish if something like that happened.

I see all of my friends - everyone I know has a kid now. I've been told I'm great around kids and even kids who don't take well to men, or strangers still seem to like me. And then I realize I'm about 5 years behind everyone, and it kinda of depresses me that I'm lagging behind. It means my kids and my friends kids won't grow up together. My Kids will be the youngest of my group, the youngest of the cousins, (my brothers' eldest is 5 turning 6 in (jan)). Well my younger sister is still only 14, so .. hopefully she'll wait a bit longer.. (Hands off Igor, no seriously her bf .. his name is Igor)

All of this from an interview. The thoughts that all of this brought forth was the one thing I was not expecting. I really hope I can do some good in someone's life. That would make me feel great. I now sit and play the waiting game, hoping to get an email back, hoping they get a good background check. (well they should, that one time that I did that one thing, it was an alias ... no one knew... and I really don't share needles, I have my own I bought from a bum on 10th - and I've only ever done one line of coke - I was 12 and it was coca-cola and a dare from friends)

So what do you peoples think, if anything, if anyone even reads this? Give me some ideas that I should do with my little brother (I like miniature golf - that's always fun)


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